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  • Nikky Lee

Book Review: How To Get A Girlfriend (When You're A Terrifying Monster) by Marie Cardno

Title: How to Get a Girlfriend (When You’re a Terrifying Monster)

Author: Marie Cardno

Publisher: Paper Road Press (Indie)

Page Count: 98

Rep: LGBTQ+, F/F

Spice: 🌶️

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Cover of How To Get A Girlfriend (When You're A Terrifying Monster)

Short and sweet. I mean so, so sweet. Trillan is a fragment of the Endless: an entity and dimension unto its own. And while previous fragments of the Endless have invaded the human world and sent them screaming for a mage and a pitchfork, Trillan has no interest in taking over that other dimension. In fact, she just wants to stay her and not get reabsorbed back into the Endless like the other fragments before her—until she encounters a visitor from the other side. Meanwhile, in the background, we also have the fascinating idea of the Endless and its dimension along with a same-same but different human world.

This novella has all the good vibes and warm fuzzies you can expect from its blurb. And while not laugh out loud funny, it is lighthearted, happy-go-lucky, and a joy to read. From Trillan’s awkward ovatures and fretting about not letting her tentacles show in the presence of this strange—and attractive—visitor to Sian’s endless curiosity that makes her almost unflappable, this story is not trying to tackle the big questions. It’s sweet and simple, and I loved it.

It would be remiss of me not to say it was nice to see a story set in New Zealand for a change too! If you want a short, upbeat read that will have you smiling afterward, check this one out.


Romance/steam levels explainer:

  • Mild 🌶️– Some romantic interactions and kissing; no on-page or off-page sex scenes.

  • Warm 🌶️🌶️ – Romantic interactions, kissing, and making out; fade-to-black sex scenes.

  • Steamy 🌶️🌶️🌶️– romantic interactions, kissing, and making out; one or more on-page sex scenes.

  • Scorching 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️ – romantic interactions, kissing, and making out; detailed and/or longer on-page sex scenes that include four-letter anatomical terms.


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